i can't believe it

He said it
he finally said it
my heart soars above and beyond the sun and the moon
he said i love you
he said he wanted to be with there
tears cascade my face
my heart crushes inside my chest

i can't believe it
i can't believe he said it
to her
while i stand here unable to move
unable to breathe
them
together
right before my eyes

i can't believe it
i can't believe he said it
to her
can't he see?
can't he see how much i care?
how long I've cared?

i can't believe it
i can't believe he said it
to her 2 years ago!
my heart aches
as much as it has for a long time
to see them together pains my heart
i soon must run away before my eyes
my eyes betray me

i can't believe it
i can't believe he saw it
before i could run away
my eyes betrayed me
he saw my eyes begging out for him
yet he couldn't see it
he saw it as a friend crying

i can't believe it
i can't believe he said it
he asked me whats wrong
i told him
i told him how i care for someone
how much and how long i've love that someone

i can't believe it
I can't believe he said it
he asked me if i had told that man
i told him
i told him that i already have

i can't believe it
i can't believe what he did
he looked at me
he looked at me like i was different
like i was unreal
like i was surreal
like i was alien

like i wasn't the girl he knew long ago

I ran away
I ran away when I saw him look at me
I cried as i ran
the stinging of my eyes never slept
i heard him call my name
i heard him call my name so many times...

I didn't look back
I didn't look back as I ran as far as i could
away from him
I ran to the park where we used to play
play all day
i sat under our favorite tree
then i realized it wasn't enough for me

I climbed
I climed as high as the branches would take me
in this old oak tree
i sat there in the nook of two branches and cried

I can't believe it
I can't believe he came
looking for me
I ignored him crying somberly to myself

...He heard my sobs of grief

He came up
As soon as he heard me he came up
Without hesitation he came to me
He sat next to me
He told me that...
That he loved me
He loved me too
I stopped crying
I stopped crying for a moment

But then I started yelling
I yelled at him
HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!!!!
YOUR WITH HER!!!!
I didn't understand
I didn't understand it
He wrapped his arms around me
His arms wouldn't budge against my struggles

But I didn't feel trapped
I didn't feel imprisoned
I felt...safe

So I sat there
I sat there and cried into his chest
He did not speak
He did not hum
He did nothing
He sat there, arms around me,
protecting me.

His silent efforts calmed
His silence soothed me
I needed no words
I just sat there teetering on the branch hoping not to fall
But there was no need for hope
For he would not let me drop.

And as I sat in his comforting embrace
I felt nothing other that the sheer awe of what may happen....