Be Me (Edited)

I used to sit here waiting to titter like a child
waiting to smile like the sun beaming over me
waiting to feel the dance of a warm embrace around me
and all I felt was bitterness and anxiety
tapping angrily into my bones
facing dangers of a heavy heart
that beat ponderously among
the shallows of its containment
and I was tired..
I was tired of moving so swiftly for them
and forcing myself to linger under a lamp
that burns me inside out.
I was forced to dance with strings
holding my arms up and my head down.
Blood dripping down my heart and onto the
place I called my home.
But I ripped my strings this time
tore them from my body and walked away..
No more love no more being someone else.
I will be me
withdrawing from them for the very first time..
I will be me.