You Never Knew

I bet you didn't know

That it was impossible for me to lie to you

That when I felt tempted I'd just keep my mouth shut

That you'd usually get the truth out of me

That you always pressured for it when I wanted you to the most

That I always wanted you to know all along

I bet you didn't know

That I remember I met you in seventh grade

That you were drawing a logo for Fall Out Boy in the middle of some class movie

That I teased you about it constantly

That I thought Fall Out Boy was too girly of a band for you

That I thought you were pretty cool for it anyway

I bet you didn't know

That I remember all of the little things

That I never thought it was your spit in the middle of the table when Liz pointed it out

That I laughed every time someone said "choices" because I thought of the inspirational pose you'd always do

That math in eighth grade was my favorite because you and I sat next to Nathan and Stephanie who argued with lame comebacks while we cracked up

That I told you I liked you the day before you went on vacation with a small note card and a message written in red pen

I bet you didn't know

That I never found it odd that we didn't talk on the phone

That it was never weird when we didn't hang out outside of school

That I was content just talking to you on the computer

That I loved our competitive arguments over who was right

That I knew I was always wrong but I kept going anyways because I knew we'd laugh about it later

I bet you didn't know

That I thought the lyrics you wrote were spectacular

That I was envious that you could teach yourself guitar so easily

That I still have the guitar demos you sent me after recording them way back when

That I was pissed when your parents made you join robotics instead of guitar lessons, and you gave in

That I always thought you were highly musically talented even if you didn't believe it yourself

I bet you didn't know

That after our "discussion" a month ago, I cried

That I couldn't even tell my close friends because I didn't trust them

That I managed to calm down through talking to people I don't completely know

That I wanted to talk to you all along

That I knew I couldn't because you'd get irritated with me

I bet you didn't know

That I still miss you like hell

That I'm pretty convinced you don't care anymore

That I don't want to be the one to crack first and talk to you

That it kills me a little to see your name online

That I want you to miss me first

I bet you didn't know

That I'm trying to open up

That I'm trying to trust more people

That I'm trying to get a little closer to my other friends

That I'm succeeding at least a little bit

That I'm getting over this lump in my chest little by little

Because I know you want nothing to do with me