My Mind And My Father... Goodbye
Maybe I'm just sick, going insane.
Losing my faith, losing my brain.
Clinging onto the breakdown, atleast it's real.
Trying to convince myself, not to feel.
Pushing thoughts back, but they never go away.
Voices and images, always coming out to play.
Funny how they take your shape, borrow your voice.
Looks like walking this road, was never my choice.
But it was chosen for me, by a father so unkind.
I hope the drinking was worth, your daughter losing her mind.
Fighting everything, all on her own.
While the world says in aw, "My, how you've grown!"
But they don't know they half of it, the half of what I do.
All the things going through my mind, that I have to tend to.
To learn how to work it, to please them without me dying.
Yes, I'm perfectly fine, and I'm also good at lying.
So, lock me up and throw away every last key.
Because it just so happens, I'm my own worst enemy.
Getting help slowly, as I vomit out your name.
My dear, sweet father, you're not to blame.
It's all my fault, isn't that true?
Because you could never hurt me, it's not what you do.
It's not in your power, that's what you've said.
But I'm not the one, that I hear telling me I should be dead.
Telling me to cut deeper, to pick up and swallow the pills.
I'm the not one, constantly giving myself chills.
And turning my hurt into rage, as my hands turn into fists.
I'm not the one, I wish I could say doesn't exists.
So take the blame for once, take it like a man.
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think you can.
Because you're a coward, and nothing more.
And I'm stronger now, than you've ever been before.
Go ahead, tell me all I do is lie.
I'll throw one finger in the air, and tell you goodbye.
Because I'm losing my mind, but atleast you're holding it's hand.
When you're both finally gone, I hope the world can understand.
That this wasn't supposed to happen, and I tried to hard to stand tall.
But you just couldn't admit you were wrong, so I'm losing it all.
Losing my faith, losing my brain.
Clinging onto the breakdown, atleast it's real.
Trying to convince myself, not to feel.
Pushing thoughts back, but they never go away.
Voices and images, always coming out to play.
Funny how they take your shape, borrow your voice.
Looks like walking this road, was never my choice.
But it was chosen for me, by a father so unkind.
I hope the drinking was worth, your daughter losing her mind.
Fighting everything, all on her own.
While the world says in aw, "My, how you've grown!"
But they don't know they half of it, the half of what I do.
All the things going through my mind, that I have to tend to.
To learn how to work it, to please them without me dying.
Yes, I'm perfectly fine, and I'm also good at lying.
So, lock me up and throw away every last key.
Because it just so happens, I'm my own worst enemy.
Getting help slowly, as I vomit out your name.
My dear, sweet father, you're not to blame.
It's all my fault, isn't that true?
Because you could never hurt me, it's not what you do.
It's not in your power, that's what you've said.
But I'm not the one, that I hear telling me I should be dead.
Telling me to cut deeper, to pick up and swallow the pills.
I'm the not one, constantly giving myself chills.
And turning my hurt into rage, as my hands turn into fists.
I'm not the one, I wish I could say doesn't exists.
So take the blame for once, take it like a man.
Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think you can.
Because you're a coward, and nothing more.
And I'm stronger now, than you've ever been before.
Go ahead, tell me all I do is lie.
I'll throw one finger in the air, and tell you goodbye.
Because I'm losing my mind, but atleast you're holding it's hand.
When you're both finally gone, I hope the world can understand.
That this wasn't supposed to happen, and I tried to hard to stand tall.
But you just couldn't admit you were wrong, so I'm losing it all.