Eight Fears

Eight years, filled with eight fears
All of them being a sin.

I have no faith, but that's all it takes
To realise there is no end.

Hate takes energy,
And all of mine is gone.
Maybe I was wrong?

Is running the answer?
Do I listen to love or loss?
Stay at the edge as always?

Can I take a stand,
The first in my life?
Against the one who caused this?

Was he the one
Who made my confusion blossom?

It could have been my deperate love
Of a long~time friend.

Or the strain of unstability,
My own mental "capability".

Maybe my struggle to do what I can,
To live
To survive
To atempt to thrive?

Pulled from my roots,
My world crashing down around me,
The unsuspecting hug of one who doesn't know,
But somehow understands,

The last I have,
The thing I never got rid of,

Eight years, eight fears,
All of them sins.

One;
Gluttony~don't take it if it might make him made.

Two;
Pride~your best isnt good enough.

Three;
Greed~have too much and it will be taken away.

Four;
Lust~the one you want isn't good enough.

Five;
Envy~don't want what you can't have, you'll just complicate things.

Six;
Anger~don't even try, yours can't come close to his, just make him more pissed off.

Seven;
Sloth~hurry up or you'll be sorry.

Eight;
Hope~things will not change. No matter how hard to try. They can't~They won't~They never will.

And I hear the raised voices
It's starting again.

This time when I face them
I'm going to fight back.

This time fear fuels anger,
And I'm plently afraid.

So I can't even guess what's going to happen.
I just hope I live.