Choke This Down

This is all in your head
And you know it.
Listen to me!
You've been taught all your life that you are unlovable and worthless. That sort of thing will internally kill even the strongest soul after a period of time. You want love, and at the same time, you loathe it. You want nothing to do with it as much as you want it all for yourself. It is a terrible and unfortunate duality. You have been playing the role of monster so long that you cannot possibly imagine a normal life, so you cling to the only thing you know-that persona.
You say that I'm trying to find someone who won't scare me
Or hurt me
Correct?

I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

Do you know where that person is?

So deep inside of you that even I cannot reach. Buried
In layers of frost so thick I would need an ocean's worth of salt to melt it.

You kill yourself everyday and can't stand the light because it offers the promise of a new tomorrow.
You don't want change. You don't want help.
And as such I kill this parasite that infects you to find the truth.
You want me to stay with you because I offer stability and warmth. You want me to be the one to make the rain stop.
But what you need to realize is that I'm a broken crutch. I'm not emotionally dependable.

I know the truth. And it isn't you. You are the lies covering up the imperfections in my life.
The greatest cover up this world has seen.

Let me drown, please. Let me drown in your love.

I'll choke down this frost without a complaint.