Broken Toy

I'm suffocating
In memories .
I can't let go of my past ,
So I can't have any future .
I'm going to be stuck
In my head ,
Dying forever , in my mind .
Maybe I should die .
Life isn't for everyone .
I've never been scared of my future .
But now that death is so near ,
I just want to take a stab with a needle .
Sleep , not die .
So I can be frozen in time ,
Because I can't die .
I don't know what that means .
What is death ?
Am I gone ?
A ghost ?
Alive , but not ?
What's not being there mean ?
Am I just a science ?
Will I just be a forgotten broken toy ,
Thrown away
Now that I no longer work ?
Or are those magic stories real ?
Will my soul float away to the heavens
Where I soar way above the sky
Keeping watch on everyone ?
Or maybe ,
I am just a broken toy ,
That must be gotten rid of .