Why

Why do you say you love me ,
When I know you really don't care ?
Why do you pretend to see
Something worthwhile in me ,
When there's really nothing there ?
Why do you try to save me
From my demise ,
When you know I'm already dead ?
Why don't you despise me
Like all the others do ?
Why do you make me dread
Death now , when I know
Deep down , when you see the real me ,
I should long for
That release that will engulf me
In a motherly hug .
Full of comfort yet darkness .
happiness yet depression .
Why ? Is all I want to know ,
Not that I'm complaining .