Undecided

Not sure, unknown, idk,
I don't know how I feel today.
Is it all confusion,
Or just an illusion?
Am I just full of fear?
Or maybe just worn down from all the years.
Who do I love
Who do I hate.
Terrible decisions i must debate.
Am I empty or full of pain
Or hopes that i'll get washed away with rain?
Maybe its all the empty dreams.
Or just a large load of low self esteem.
Maybe it is just the fear
Stupid, useless, ugly fear.
The fear of the world and its pain
A fear of being looked upon with disdain
A fear of facing reality
A fear of death and immortality
All my thoughts make no sense
Its overwhelming and immense
I really don't know how I feel
the whole world looks so surreal.
Maybe, today, I'll give it a rest
Before it makes me completely obsessed