i don't trust him any more

this would be the time i needed my mom
so she could hold me and let me cry
she would tell me she loves me and squeeze me tight
and i would say mommy:
i don't trust him anymore
all i wanna do is cry
its hard looking into his eyes
when i kiss him i put my wall back up
i feel like my hearts not safe any more
I'm scared to feel that pain again
it hurt to much
i hate that i love his touch
its like I'm starting all over with him
its not going to be the same
i cant lie to him and tell him I'm not hurt any more
i can still feel the pain
and I'm still pushing back tears
he should of just stabbed me in the heart
maybe that would feel better, at least the pain would stop
he doesn't realize how i feel about him
and how scared and confused i am
the lying has to stop and the truth has to come out
i don't want to loose him
but now hes the one who has to earn me back
if i was with my mom right now
she would say
baby girl I'm sorry this happened to you
and she'd wipe my tears away
and ask what ice cream i want