Not Again

I can feel you fading away.
And I can't, I can't do this again.
I hardly ever see you, and when I do I know it's only because other people are around.
It feels like how it always is, it feels like two years ago.
When I lost everyone.
You don't tell me anything anymore.
You say "Don't worry about it"
You make me so mad all the time, but I'm just mad at myself.
Mad because I know that this is my fault.
Your distance, your silence, your absense.
It's all because of me, I know it's true.
Why else would you never call me and never make plans?
You got sick of me, just like everyone else.
I tried to be strong and not call you, figuring that's what you wanted.
but I never could be that strong, and I caved.
To hear how you're hanging out with her now, all the time
It fucking kills me.
You're supposed to be my best friend, but best friends shouldn't treat each other like this.
So tell me, Jessie, what did I do? Why are you acting this way?
Maybe I'm being paranoid, maybe nothing's wrong.
But I've had this feeling so many times, and I know what to expect.
Losing you.
And I just, I can't do this again.
Not again.