eye for an eye

I laid beneath my covers, staring at the dark ceiling above me.
thinking is that the end
was it the end of my life,or was it the beginning of a new one
it happen to fast for me to remember it
that one word "goodbye"
then the sound of screaming that came after it
the sound of sirens behind me and a mother crying cause her son just got hit
was it my fault?should have i said "no it's ok."
or was it my mind .
then the single tear came rolling down my face trying to forget what happen
the guilt was eating me alive inside and i didn't know what to do anymore.
that's when i reach over my bed grabbed the knife
"a life for a life"
and i stabbed my self in the heart
everything grew silent