Numb

My mind is blurry
As I close my eyes
Just another night to endure
Full of silent cries

The impenetrable darkness
Seems to be pressing down on me
Even if I open my eyes
I won't be able to see

The blanket that covers me
From head to toe
Somehow keeps me from fleeing
Away from everything I know

I lay completely still
My thoughts start to invade
Full of scary memories
I just want them to fade

I try desperately to stop it
But a tear trickles down anyway
It reaches my chin quickly
I wish I didn't feel this way

I take in a breath
It's sharp, shaky, shallow
I hold it in for a few seconds
Then let it out real slow

Sometimes I wonder
Why do I bother?
I know of one reason
And there is another

I bother for love
And I bother because
I know I can be happy
Once I get past all these sores

These sores, they're bleeding
Into my breath, my heart, my soul
I just want to be happy again
That's my main goal

I can't be happy
Until these sores start healing
I don't know how to heal them
For now, I just have to stop feeling