*** Up

I'll just fuck up my life while you watch me fall.
You'll offer help and I won't take it.
I want to fall down,
Away from the mess I made.
Away from the hopeless days.
Away from the pain I caused.

I'll just fuck up my life until I'm gone.
You'll tell me to stop and I won't listen.
I want to go,
Away from the pain I have.
Away from my own lies.
Away from the life I created for myself.

I'll just fuck up you're life since I'll be gone.
You'll want to cry because you miss me.
I never wanted to hurt you,
You should listen.
You don't want me around.
You'll be better off without me.

I'll just fuck up my thoughts by writing this.
I'll just cry away the time.
I never wanted to come to this,
These lies I've made.
These lives I've hurt.
The scary way I'm thinking about death.

It shouldn't be like this, should it?
I just want to die all the time.
I never meant for that to happen.
The thoughts I think.
The tears that fell.
The way I should stop thinking about my life being taken.

I know I shouldn't think like this,
And I know you agree,
But I just can't help it,
When all I am is me.