Guilty Tears Bring Nightly Fears

This happens every night.
When the guilt can no longer hide
in the silence of the dark.
It roars over the crickets,
it screams over the emptiness,
it pulls at my insides.
Tearing me apart
from the inside.
I cry in pain
wishing I’d never done the thing I did.
Wishing I never
covered it up like I did.
Wishing I wasn’t so foolish then
thinking it wouldn’t catch up to me,
but now no matter how hard I try
the guilt comes out
and makes me cry.
It roars
and screams
and tears
and hurts,
but I’ve done nothing to heal the pain.
I fear a confession
will break
what we’ve worked so hard to start and keep.
I’ve done nothing to make the pain ease these last few nights
because to hurt you I couldn’t bare.
So I’ll sit here and stare
as the tears fall
as the pain begins.
I’ll sacrifice my nights
so yours will be filled with just dreams,
not the nightmares
my mind seems to seek.
Every night
the guilt comes out
from the inside.
Roaring and screaming at me
I do not try to fight back
I just take it in
because I deserve the pain
and the tears that rain.