let me live

You have your life,
and I live mine.
but why do you keep pretending everything is fine
when you know,
everything is breaking down.
I know the smile is fake.
I know it was a mistake.
but I cannot forgive you yet.
I got nightmares.
I can't forget.
My childhood is soaked in regret.
My past a set,
stuck in the same scene.
I cannot get anything back.
Why did you show me so much pain,
teach me how to live restrained.
Why couldn't you stand up,
for me.
Instead of letting me drop,
in your sorrow stained past.
It could've been so different.
Should I even bother.
I don't even know if I can keep calling you mother.
It hurts,
this cruel fact.
Where were you?
Hiding behind the lies he told you,
holding his love for true?
I needed you.
I secretly still do.
I'm finally realising that you only make it worse.
your sick,
addicted,
you look like a corpse.
I have to live my own life.
And let you live yours.
'Cause I'm tired off banging,
on your firmly shut doors.
Goodbye.
I will remember you for the good
and the bad.
For every tear I shed.
For everything you promised,
did,
and everything you said.
But I have to let you go,
And you already know,
"why?"
I don't want to feel that pain no more.
So I will live my life ,
and you'll live yours.