In His Ashes
December 15, 2009.
That is the day you left this world.
This terrifying world where everything is out of place.
The day you left this world without a trace.
But not to me you see.
You are in my heart and that is where you shall stay.
I close my eyes and imagine that it didn't end this way.
I witnessed your death with my very own
eyes.
I did everything in my power to save you.
I didn't know that you didn't want to
lieto me.
You were protecting my life.
I screamed in agony as they tore you apart.
I could even hear the crumbling of my heart.
They burned you to ashes despite my pleas.
You are the only one who will ever love me for me.
They held grins on their faces as they walked away.
Leaving me to wish myself dead for many a days.
I cried and screamed for you to come back to me.
I know it's all useless but this isn't how it is supposed to be.
I lay in his ashes in a fetal postion.
Knowing that the ashes used to be you.
How could I have been so blind?
And not realize that nothing is fine.
I have no reason to live.
I know you want me to be happy.
But how can I be happy without you?
I know that the day will now never come that you say, "I do."
I screamed bloody murder as a sword pierced my heart.
That is what it feels like now that we are apart.
You are very far away but I will never forget you.
Just because you're not here in person doesn't mean you're not with me.
The pain had subsided as I thought of these thoughts.
But what do I do when everyone loves me not?
You're the only one for me.
You always wanted me to be free.
But all I ever wanted was you.
And to this very day I still do.
I look at his ashes which used to be my lover.
Now my only luck shall come from a four leaf clover.
In his ashes I see love, trust, and the man I fell in love with.
I can't believe that I thought true love was a myth.
How do I kill myself when I know it wouldn't make you happy?
Impossible I suppose.
But what would you do if these ashes were me?
That is the day you left this world.
This terrifying world where everything is out of place.
The day you left this world without a trace.
But not to me you see.
You are in my heart and that is where you shall stay.
I close my eyes and imagine that it didn't end this way.
I witnessed your death with my very own
eyes.
I did everything in my power to save you.
I didn't know that you didn't want to
lieto me.
You were protecting my life.
I screamed in agony as they tore you apart.
I could even hear the crumbling of my heart.
They burned you to ashes despite my pleas.
You are the only one who will ever love me for me.
They held grins on their faces as they walked away.
Leaving me to wish myself dead for many a days.
I cried and screamed for you to come back to me.
I know it's all useless but this isn't how it is supposed to be.
I lay in his ashes in a fetal postion.
Knowing that the ashes used to be you.
How could I have been so blind?
And not realize that nothing is fine.
I have no reason to live.
I know you want me to be happy.
But how can I be happy without you?
I know that the day will now never come that you say, "I do."
I screamed bloody murder as a sword pierced my heart.
That is what it feels like now that we are apart.
You are very far away but I will never forget you.
Just because you're not here in person doesn't mean you're not with me.
The pain had subsided as I thought of these thoughts.
But what do I do when everyone loves me not?
You're the only one for me.
You always wanted me to be free.
But all I ever wanted was you.
And to this very day I still do.
I look at his ashes which used to be my lover.
Now my only luck shall come from a four leaf clover.
In his ashes I see love, trust, and the man I fell in love with.
I can't believe that I thought true love was a myth.
How do I kill myself when I know it wouldn't make you happy?
Impossible I suppose.
But what would you do if these ashes were me?