A Story For Another Night

I can see him looking at me
I cant explain myself
He confused and hurting
I don’t know what to say to make it better.

He doesn’t understand why I do the things I do
Why I bleed so much when he isn’t watching me
He hasn’t lived my life
He hasn’t heard the things I’ve heard

He hasn’t sat and listened to her
Tell me who I am
Again and again
Useless…

He’s watching me write this,
Confused again
I don’t know how I tell you
How much I hurt

I don’t know how to say
I’m just a mess
You cant understand how hard this is
But Paul…

Its not you,
It never was
Its me
I’m the mess

So keep on watching me
Write you this story
And maybe then you’ll see
How good I am at making up words

On paper its easy
To tell you how I feel
So let me try and explain
What inside my head

You weren’t there a few years ago
When all I did was drink and bleed
I made my bed then
And I’m lying in it again

I can’t explain the weight in my chest
Or the burn in my wrist
I’d like to think you’ve never felt that way
At least I hope so.

I’ve run out of words for you
I cant go on anymore
So lets just forget this happened
I’ll be happy for you

Don’t look past my smile
Or question me too far
Cause it will all fall apart
I’ll try to be strong for you

I’ll fall apart in private
So you don’t have to see
I’ll stand by your side
And hold my head up high

I’m okay
Its alright
Let leave it here
This is a story for another night.