blades and skin

as i lay here
i look at this knife
with the stains of a thousand cuts
with the nicks of a thousand years
without the sanctity of a deity
but with the malice of a demon
i bury my feelings
and use the knife against myself again
i feel the fresh wave of lust and flame wash over me again
and wish that there was someone to indulge in it with me
as it is all my friends
accomplices
enemies
gods
they are all dead
for it has been 10000 years
and several thousand more light years
i came out with wings and horns
and had no explanation to those that asked
they wondered why i lived so long
for their years were but a week to what i was used to
i did scare them
especially with the blade
especially with the fire in my eyes
and the thirst in my eyes
i took my first 5 minutes after coming out of sleep
and eventually wiped them out
i sit now on the throne of the king
and wonder
what the hell happened to me
why was this blade
the blade i killed enemies with
so bloodthirsty now
i sit and i wonder as i see another ship like mine land
as it lands i see a figure
not physical
but metaphysical
stand against the glass
and i feel the pull of my mate and beloved