Desensitized

I wish you would figure out how crazy you make me,
but at the same time I'm glad you haven't.
It gives me time to try and fix it myself,
while being able to enjoy you
instead of trying to fix our relationship again.
The only problem is, I don't know if I can fix it.
The more time you allow me to spend with you,
the more time I want.
You're pulling me in, and I can't stop it.
It almost physically hurts when I see you now.
It used to be just a high.
Now it's more.
I can't stop myself from wanting to see you,
to spend time with you.
Isn't it sad that when I need your help the most,
I can't tell you, in fear that you'll shut me out?
I have to control this and not let it suck me in completely.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Its not you, it's me,
and I'm figuring it out.