Try Again (And Again, And Again)

Force it away
Shove it down
So what if you were a failure again?
It doesn’t matter
That’s what they say
Just take a deep breath
And try again

Laugh with your friends
Pretend you don’t care
Let the tears fall
And call them rain
Admire their perfect spheres
Let yourself believe that they never hit the ground
And shatter

Sit with that book
Pencil in hand
Heart beating fast
Rage swinging hard
Little crumpled up balls of effort
Into the trash can

Scream at yourself
Beg and beg
Just for once
Can’t you be smart?
And not let expectations down
All over again?

Let yourself wind down
Red swollen eyes falling shut
Collapse on the bed
Hug the blanket to your chest
Go to sleep and refuel
So you can try
Try again

And again
And again
Waiting for the day that this cycle ends
And you only have to try once
Not again
And again
And again…