Blue

Theres a sinking feeling in my stomach,
But im not sure quite how to feel,

I really wanted to love you,
I really wanted it to be real.

I dont know if I should hate you,
So Im holding all these thoughts in my head,

Just like we'd hold each other,
Entwined together upon on the bed.

I dont know if I should miss you,
And I wonder if your the best Ill ever know,

I wonder if I'll regret it,
If so I'll try my hardest not to let it show.

I wonder if you that was it,
If what we had was a love so true,

If so I'll push myself under,
Forgetting to breathe 'till i turn blue.
♠ ♠ ♠
I wouldnt read too much into this, sure it has some meaning to it, but I just think the words are pretty and I quite like the romanticism of suicide, nothing planned by this.
Soo. Four months of treating each other badly I decided was enough and split from my boyfriend, On the surface I feel positive about it, but I know somewhere deep down I disagree.
Long description and I've rambled so I apologise.
Just wanted people to know I'm not suicidal :)
comments would be lovely even though its not the best I've done
Lots of love
<3