Sorrow Filled Words

I am the disease of society that spreads with even a glance towards my ugly body. The chill that goes down an innocent mans spine. The heart clinching fear that will make you stop in your tracks. Being worthless is in my bones being stupid is in my blood. The sad tunes just keep playing on in and on in this thing they call life. “Move on and get over it!” that’s what they say to me.

Not a hug to hold my shaking body.
Not a finger to wipe that sorrow filled tear.
Not one spoken word of kindness for me to hear.
Not even a smile to make me smile back as well.

I wonder why life is so cold; why there’s no one to stay with you threw your hardships?
If my life is like this than why was I born?
Am I really a mistake in this world with people who actually have a purpose?
What is my purpose to serve?

My broken heart hasn’t beaten in what seems like centuries it’s frozen over in a cold winter.
Wiping my eyes is useless for I just weep a new batch of tears.
It’s no use wearing a mask to hid my despair because I’m tired of wearing it.
Saying something, that’s a laugh for me.

I try to look for a morsel of happiness because things can’t be all bad.
I still haven’t found at least a moment yet, but I could try looking one more time.
Or would searching just be useless like the oh so many other times I have tried and failed?

Many more questions run threw my head like a I-pod stuck on repeat.
No medication could stop this depression.
No amount of therapy could get rid of this psychological scar in my mind.
Even if I tried harder than I am it wouldn’t help.
What will though?

Lying around like a numb shell is all I do.
It seems like the only cure besides the one I fear.
Suicide.
It just couldn’t be the answer.
I don’t know my reason for living or why life’s like this.
But throwing this all away even if it is horrid.
Wouldn’t be right.

What keeps me living on though?
When will the questions become to a blissful silence?