Can I Fix It This Time?

On my back, eyes on the sky
Watch the clouds float on by
Thoughts in my head, going to burst
Since when do I have this enormous thirst?
Thirst for living, breathing, moving
Why do i find this heartbeat so soothing?
Am i on the right path, now that i've turned them down?
Can I see the light? Have I turned my life around?
Who knows. I've thought this before.
But you know how i ended up when i walked through that door.
The first and the second time. Is this the sixth?
I thought my heart was finally fixed
But maybe it was something else. My mind or my soul?
There was never anything good enough to close this hole.
So when the good things come in, they always flow out
It drives me insane so i scream and shout!
I'll never go back! I can't do this again!
But if i give up, what will i do then?
So here I am, always the same spot.
No i'm not giving up, is that what you thought?
That i'm pathetic, suicidal and stupid?
I won't hurt them the way that you did.
I'm not afraid of living, maybe dying.
When I said I'd do this, i wasnt lying.
Just stop right there, turn back around
I'll make sure that this is never found.
Your sad little secrets are safe with me
But don't think you can get away that easily.