Just a Girl

Does it occur to you
When you see me smile
That even though I appear happy
I haven't been for a while
Do you ever think
When I'm laughing oh so loud
That maybe I'm just pretending
Maybe I'm not really proud
You see me as confident
You don't think I care
She's prettier than me
I still think it's unfair
I am only a girl
Human, that is me
See, I don't believe in aliens
Or a silly fantasy
I am only a girl
As much as I pretend
Yeah, I also have feelings
And my heart has still to mend
God, it's so pathetic
That I never cry
Some people say it's easy
But my life is just a lie
How can you judge me
When all I do is fake
What do you see
Because all I do is take
How can you know me
When I will never let you
How can you hear me
When nothing I say is true
How can you believe me
On the rare days I tell the truth
Because even to my closest friends
Their ears I do not chose
So why, then should I come to you
To spill out all my dreams
When I don't believe in fairytales
And nothing's what it seems
I can never trust you
Although I know you try
You will one day leave me
But I won't curl up and die
I have taught my heart
To block all that shit out
It wipes away each tear
And muffels every shout
Don't tell me i'm abnormal
God knows I really am
Just tell me I'm different
For that is all you can.