Scars Itch

You loved me, you said.
Every time I touched you, your veins pulsed with fire you said.
You said that I was your world. That I was your reason of living,
The bane of your existence…
It was a lie.
We were better than Romeo and Juliet.
We weren’t just horny teenagers, looking for a quick rebellion.
We were so much more.
Your touch was like the sweet caress of rain during a balmy summer storm.
Your voice made me secure. Safe. It became home.
You eyes were like no other’s.
Your eyes let me fall into oblivion forever and ever and not worry about the landing.
Your eyes weren’t eyes.
They were sapphires. When you smiled,
They shined and glittered bright enough to make the stars jealous.
And your heartbeat…
When I fell asleep to the familiar, gentle rhythm of your heart,
This messed up world we live in became a safe haven. A sanctuary.
Kissing you made my soul smile.
You didn’t make me feel like a princess,
Because you were better than any Prince Charming
Cinderella could have hoped for.
Your kisses tasted like hot chocolate on a bitter winter night.
It was warm, sweet and I cherished every sip
Because when it was gone,
All I wanted was more.
And as long as I remember what your kisses felt like,
I’ll never have to use drugs.
The high will just feel synthetic
Compared to the euphoric rush I got
From your lips.
Being in your arms was better than any heaven some
Divine imaginary being could offer me.
You were real. You were tangible. You were mine…
At least you said you were.
But you weren’t just mine.
You were hers and his and it’s and theirs and ours.
You were like the school tricycle.
Pretty and shiny and full of promise,
But everyone who wanted a ride got one.
And though I hate myself for it,
Though I want to rip out my heart and leave it beating on the sidewalk,
Someone else’s burden
So that I can walk free of you and our memories,
I love you.
I love the way your left tooth is chipped so neatly.
I love the special mole that hides behind your ear is our little secret.
When you said you loved me, I foolishly believed you
Because there was nothing else I could possibly want from the world.
I thought it was too good to be true
Being loved by the most perfect being ever created
To be the only one loved and cherished and held by you…
And I was right.
It was too good to be true.
It was one of those cruel dreams
Where everything looks,
Feels,
Sounds,
Tastes,
And kisses real.
But when you wake up, it’s callously snatched from your hand
Leaving nothing but vivid, ethereal memories
That were all an illusion.
Nothing but products of an imagination gone wild.
That was what we were.
An imaginary delusion that had gone on for much too long.
You didn’t leave your mark on my soul.
You left a scar.
And it itches like hell.