Promise

Last night I broke my promise,
I did it again.
It wasn't really my promise,
more like yours instead.
You forced me to say i wouldn't
And I didn't really care.
I tried my hardest not to snap
But the pain was still there.
You know it was hard for me,
to get over the problems i had.
I couldn't stop that easily
But now i dont feel bad.
The worst is that i know
you'd be pissed if you found out
You wouldnt care about my feelings
Thats the one thing i doubt.
It's all because I broke your promise
How pathetic am I now?
To you I'm always just a fuck up.
Because I dont know how...
I dont know how to make you proud of me
to make you understand
You were never there to help me
or to offer me a hand
So I dont care that i broke your promise
I dont care if you shed a tear
Cause while i'm fighting through my problems
I know you wont be here.