Something

There are too many people here.

Too many people
and too much space.

Too many people
and too much space
and too much--
something.

Something is in my throat
and in my lungs.
Something is pressing on my chest
Like the weight of a dozen books
or bricks
or boulders, maybe.
Something is holding me
and I want to struggle against something--
Against nothing.
Something is inside my heart
Making it pound
Faster
and faster and faster
and faster and faster and faster
Until it's in my ears and my head
and my fingertips.
Something is drowning me in air
thick enough to choke me.

And I just hold it in
Smile and thank you and take my tea

And hope for panic to fade
into silent resignation.