Sleeper.

I want to sleep,
But I do not wish to dream.
I do not wish to be subjected to recurring thoughts
As even after awaking, convincing myself of dreaming,
Such thoughts still persist.
I do not wish to be suspended in the notion that
temporarily,
There is no pain.
I do not seek to believe that my own numbness could be translated into brief moments of enjoyment.
I do not want to wake up,
And have to comfort myself.
To say that my nightmares aren't true, real, even though I felt them as such.
To say that all happiness I felt was only synthetic,
That I have to wake to a broken world, and tell myself that it is real.