"How I Feel"

I am such an idiot.
What other type of person would feel
happiness for a relationship of
the person they think about non stop?
To be friends
with both halves of the couple is torture.
To feel a connection with one half,and to
feel the pain of the desperate desire
to hide your true feelings is..........pathetic.
I could never harm her, the other half.
Though I yearn to be with him, I will
never allow myself to betray or hurt her.
This situation that I can not control is
completely taking over me. I yearn for him
but my dear friend is with him......and their happy.
I know I am the worst person ever.......I had
my chance and blew it.
No right at all!
I have no right to complain.
My job is to smile and be happy for them.
I must never let them know my true feelings.
I do not feel disgust or hate towards them, I am
very happy for them. I am just sad for myself,
because I can not change my feelings for him
no matter how hard I try.
All I can do is hope
that one day, and hopefully soon, someone
will sweep me away and make me forget you.
INDEED
I am the most foolish idiot in this world.