A *** of One

In the days of old, I used to believe
That friendship meant folly
And they would all deceive me
I was bent on my own
Emotional pain
I thought I was the only one who cared about me
So I became selfish
Because I refused to believe
That others did care
And were not going to deceive
As the years went by, people have changed
I let someone in
Now we are strangers
Grew apart
Never to be the same
Sometimes I think back on those times we had, and wish we could go back
The truth is, I would die for that person
For the mere reason that they once held me special somewhere inside

That thing that I thought could never be real
Someone felt for me
And it made my world

Now I have two people
We are not related by flesh and blood, but sisters through bond
And if I am willing to die for them as well
How many times will my heart have sacrificed itself?
How can I trust what I do not know is real
How do I know whether I am in danger of falling again, without a rope of stone to grab onto?

So when faced with this task I have questions, but no answers
Do I let them in
Or do I fight alone?

The answer to that seems almost obvious
But I am afraid
And I don’t want to be hurt
Much less do I want to burden someone else with my problems
Because I know that they are more important to me I am to myself
And I feel like they would not care, like all of the others

So answer me this
Am I responsible for the murder of my own soul?
Am I a culprit because I am trying to defend myself?
Or am I a victim of someone else?