As I Lay Dying

I'm so sick of crying.
I'm so sick of feeling as if I'm dying.
I pause as I put the gun to my head,
How far will I go to put an end to this never ending dread?

You stand at the doorway,
Waiting for me to make your day.
But you see me pause,
And almost ends your reason for applause.

You walk up to me to me without a word said.
A deadly smile plays across your face,
Without a single hint of remace.
You kneel down besides me to pull the trigger,
I bet your ego never felt bigger.

I collapse to the ground,
In a pool of my blood I drown.
I see my life fly by me,
As I lay dying.

Memories of my childhood pass by.
I hear a faint child's cry,
As my parents destroy,
A young child's joy.
They made the child like she was conceived in vein,
They made her feel she deserved physical pain,
So the constant sound of her beating her head on the wall rang through the home.
To the young girl it felt so right,
Like it was what she deserved all those nights.

Then I saw my friend and childhood hero who died
Within two years time.
My life rapidly spiraled downhill,
The hole in my heart was too big to fill.

Then you came along into my life,
And I've never felt anything that seemed so right.
You took my hand,
And told me you understand.
I gave you my heart,
And then you turned around and ripped it apart.
Now you stand watching, laughing,
As I lay dying.

I now realized I never was going to fire the gun,
But you wouldn't let me spoil your fun.
I realized just before you fired the fatal shot,
That there was more to life,
That there was another way out.

I sadly kiss my dreams goodbye,
As they fade away.
Tears begin to stream down my face,
In the pool of my blood they find their place.
You laugh as you see me crying,
As I lay dying.