To Know The Full Effect of Feeling Forever.

Think I lost that something.
That one immeasurable thing.
It's terribly alright, if what I'm looking for,
Belongs to you.

If what I'm fighting for,
Is no longer you.
If what I'm writing for,
Is no longer true.
If what I'm dying for,
Is no longer brand new.
And if what I'm crying for,
Is nothing to you,

Then why should I cry?

Replace me, I get it.
I am not, who you used to know.
Erase me, I get it.
I am not who you thought that you would grow.

Lust? You fed that enough.

Love? Hah, funny I should mention that at all.
I know no boundries. I know no walls.

Trust? I broke that enough.

My fault for knowing you wouldn't accept me.
Everyone is dead, except me.
My fault for showing the true me.
What else did you expect from me?

At last, let light be shed on my face.
Let it illuminate, all that I hate, every trace,
Of the person, of the fate,
I led you to believe wasn't fake.

A hundred times over, my apologies,
Thrown out your mind. Don't waste thoughts on me.
That pretty little brain of yours,
Should not be tainted by the likes of mine.

I am in debt to you,
Completely, forever, entwined to you.
Though this is a nightmare I do not,
Wish upon anyone, most importantly you.

The closest I ever came to,
Being my complete self to a person, was you.
What I have done, should not have been.
I don't blame the part of me that wants me dead.

Given sober thought, my words collect,
Emotions, I know, you will not detect.
Tried and untrue,
I still gave all I was to all of you.

A second notion of second nature,
A second chance of this behaviour.
Forlorn, and torn, is this creature,
On the letting down of his Creator.

In completeness and incompleteness,
I cannot distinguish which one exists.
If something were to fill this heart,
I wouldn't be able to tell the two apart.

If my cup is empty, it's because you drank it all.
If yours is empty, it's because you let it fall.
If love everlasting could fill it up,
Then all I would want of yours, is just one drop.