Confused
I’ve wanted a guy to treasure me and think I am special all this time.
I missed the butterflies in my tummy and the good feelings you get from the attention and knowing you are special to someone.
But I just keep thinking back to you and how it ended. It hurt me so deep and I felt like a zombie for weeks, there was no real happiness or pleasure in that time. There wasn’t even a sadness just an ache in the middle of my chest reminding me of what you did to me. I don’t want to go through that again.
But then I recall all the warnings they gave me before. “Womanizer” “Asshole” “Jerk” “Lesser of Two Evils” and the list goes on and on.
So I think maybe this one will work out.
Then why do I feel guilty and a little nauseous? Me and the guy now were enjoying each other’s company till two AM. We laughed, teased, kissed, cuddled, and flirted… Is this the butterflies or a guilty feeling?
I don’t know. All I know is that I am lost in this world and feel a little alone.
At first I told people it would never happen and now that it is I don’t know what to say to them.
I mean nothing is really official it could work or it won’t.
The other odd thing is we keep finding each other. We did have a little middle school thing going on and maybe the two of us were meant to be.
But everything is so blurred and fuzzy right now I don’t know where to begin. Oh the tricks of the heart they leave me confused and its driving me over the edge.
I missed the butterflies in my tummy and the good feelings you get from the attention and knowing you are special to someone.
But I just keep thinking back to you and how it ended. It hurt me so deep and I felt like a zombie for weeks, there was no real happiness or pleasure in that time. There wasn’t even a sadness just an ache in the middle of my chest reminding me of what you did to me. I don’t want to go through that again.
But then I recall all the warnings they gave me before. “Womanizer” “Asshole” “Jerk” “Lesser of Two Evils” and the list goes on and on.
So I think maybe this one will work out.
Then why do I feel guilty and a little nauseous? Me and the guy now were enjoying each other’s company till two AM. We laughed, teased, kissed, cuddled, and flirted… Is this the butterflies or a guilty feeling?
I don’t know. All I know is that I am lost in this world and feel a little alone.
At first I told people it would never happen and now that it is I don’t know what to say to them.
I mean nothing is really official it could work or it won’t.
The other odd thing is we keep finding each other. We did have a little middle school thing going on and maybe the two of us were meant to be.
But everything is so blurred and fuzzy right now I don’t know where to begin. Oh the tricks of the heart they leave me confused and its driving me over the edge.