Losing Myself

When will this all be over?
This pain, this misery.
I just want it to end.
Is that too much to ask for?
I hate feeling so broken, so alone.
Someone save me from myself.
Please, I’m begging you.
Help me.
I’m starting to lose my hope.
I don’t know what to live for anymore.
Everyone is leaving me.
Or am I leaving them?
If it’s me that’s pushing you away,
Can you please hold on?
Hold on to me, don’t let me leave.
I’m not doing it on purpose.
You mean too much to me.
I need you guys now more than ever.
Can’t you see through this façade of mine?
Or am I that good at hiding myself
That not even I can find it in my face?
My mind is a scary place
Filled with thoughts I rather not have.
I can picture every one of you dying,
I know how much pain I will be in if it happens.
Will that happen to you?
All that pain and misery?
Or do you not care enough about me for that?
It’s starting to become too much.
I’m regretting being the shoulder to cry on,
I need one now more than ever.
Can you return me the favor?
Or is that too much to ask of you?
It’s beginning to be too hard to be optimistic.
That light at the end of the tunnel is dimming.
Someone save me from this endless misery.
I can’t save myself anymore.
I’m sorry.