I Want To, But I Won't

I want to run,
far far away from this place.
I would like to cry,
realizing the mistake I have made.

I want to twirl,
to show my happiness,
I would like to stop,
to show I was faking.

I want to smile for the camera,
because that's what your supposed to do.
I would like to turn away from the flash,
so I wouldn't have to remember this forever.

I want to hug you,
to show you I really care.
I would give you a side hug instead,
to show I wasn't selfish.

I want to feel thin,
so I wouldn't look at the mirror in despair.
I would feel fat,
because that's what I am.

I want this poem to end.

I would,
but there are so many things to say.