Shocked

The clock strikes twelve,
I sit and look around,
I can't go to sleep,
I feel like the sun shouldn't be down.

The moon's up high,
The tides roll in,
The lightning strikes in my heart,
I feel anger and sadness within.

The phone lays beside me,
I sit and wait for it to ring,
I start to shake and cry,
I know for a fact this can't be happening.

I toss and turn,
I feel so distraught,
What feels like an eternity has been one minute,
At this point i feel all hope's lost.

I watch TV,
In the darkness of the night,
As horrible thoughts consume my every wake,
All these feelings i try to fight.

It's finally my birthday,
The day that I've been looking forward too for so long and more,
But i can't enjoy this yet,
Not until i get a good call that I've been waiting for.

I can't remember anything else,
I ended falling asleep,
But i beat myself up so much that night,
Just trying not to imagine and think.

I wake up in the morning,
Not really feeling the best,
I hope everything was okay but when i started to think,
My heart about exploded out of my chest.

What i didn't want to happen,
It actually did,
My heart stopped for a moment,
I thought i was dead.

It was like quick sand,
And i just kept sinking,
But life goes on,
Even though my heart continues to keep bleeding.