Gone in an Instant
Mom never saw you there,
so small by the side of the road -
there was never a noise as our car
passed by you.
Opening the doors to go inside
we heard you,
we didn't know what it was,
so we looked around,
then rushed out to the road.
We found you there,
fallen.
She told me to run inside,
you might be dead,
run for dad.
I ran for your life,
I thought it was in my hands.
Though I don't think I was quick enough.
"Dad!" I screamed, and he looked,
I didn't know what to say,
so I ran back outside to you -
the pool of blood running from your mouth.
So dad ran, following me out the door
So did brother with his flashlight –
But I was already there, standing still
Not knowing what to do.
I called your name
Trying to get a response,
And dad checked your pulse –
Gone.
But he didn’t see you breathing,
I could have sworn you were,
That you were still alive,
That it was you
Moving your head –
Not dad.
You’re not really gone
But the faraway look in your eyes
Tells me differently –
It tells me
What I don’t want to believe.
Those faraway eyes
Are not those which
I once saw, not those
I had looked into
Earlier today.
When we looked at each other,
Stared almost –
Who knew it would really
Be the last time I saw you?
Now the only way I see you
Is still,
Unmoving, your body growing cold.
I didn’t do anything
For a while
But stand in the street.
I didn’t care –
There were no cars coming,
And if they did
Oh well,
I was lost.
I finally walked back
Towards the house,
Past the car
With the keys still in the ignition,
Headlights blaring and shining away,
The rest of the family
Sat on the steps,
With you in dad’s arms.
Mom was muttering
“no,no,no…”
She thought it was all her fault.
Brother was just looking
Down at you,
Sobbing, with tears running down his face.
While I,
Stood silent.
What was wrong with me?
Did I not know how to feel emotion?
I felt sad, but I did not cry.
I felt scared, but I did not shout.
I was helpless, but instead drew back
Into my own little world.
Kind of like in the movies,
Rocking back and forth,
Back and forth.
You really were gone
Leaving only spots of red behind,
Like tears stained red from the heart.
so small by the side of the road -
there was never a noise as our car
passed by you.
Opening the doors to go inside
we heard you,
we didn't know what it was,
so we looked around,
then rushed out to the road.
We found you there,
fallen.
She told me to run inside,
you might be dead,
run for dad.
I ran for your life,
I thought it was in my hands.
Though I don't think I was quick enough.
"Dad!" I screamed, and he looked,
I didn't know what to say,
so I ran back outside to you -
the pool of blood running from your mouth.
So dad ran, following me out the door
So did brother with his flashlight –
But I was already there, standing still
Not knowing what to do.
I called your name
Trying to get a response,
And dad checked your pulse –
Gone.
But he didn’t see you breathing,
I could have sworn you were,
That you were still alive,
That it was you
Moving your head –
Not dad.
You’re not really gone
But the faraway look in your eyes
Tells me differently –
It tells me
What I don’t want to believe.
Those faraway eyes
Are not those which
I once saw, not those
I had looked into
Earlier today.
When we looked at each other,
Stared almost –
Who knew it would really
Be the last time I saw you?
Now the only way I see you
Is still,
Unmoving, your body growing cold.
I didn’t do anything
For a while
But stand in the street.
I didn’t care –
There were no cars coming,
And if they did
Oh well,
I was lost.
I finally walked back
Towards the house,
Past the car
With the keys still in the ignition,
Headlights blaring and shining away,
The rest of the family
Sat on the steps,
With you in dad’s arms.
Mom was muttering
“no,no,no…”
She thought it was all her fault.
Brother was just looking
Down at you,
Sobbing, with tears running down his face.
While I,
Stood silent.
What was wrong with me?
Did I not know how to feel emotion?
I felt sad, but I did not cry.
I felt scared, but I did not shout.
I was helpless, but instead drew back
Into my own little world.
Kind of like in the movies,
Rocking back and forth,
Back and forth.
You really were gone
Leaving only spots of red behind,
Like tears stained red from the heart.