Alone Again.

Yesterday,
I saw you.
And not only did I see you,
But you were smiling

In such a Gods-long time,
I saw you smile.
Though it wasn't just a smile,
Or a loppy-sided grin

But it was your beautiful smile
That made my entire heart melt,
And leak through my eyes
In the form of tears.

Dying was a mistake
You should've lived till the very end.
I know how scared you were,
Because I was, too.

But leaving me wasn't any better.
I died on the inside,
When your heart gave out,
And you took your final breath.

I miss everything about you,
Your hair,
Your eyes,
Your hands,
And your voice...

I miss having you around me,
Your hilarious jokes,
Your insightful advice,
And your reassuring words...

I miss the way you laughed,
The way you walked,
They way you told me about your day,
And even the way you used to cry...

Most of all
I miss the way you used to tell me
That all of this pain is worth it.
That, 'Without the dark we would never see the stars.'

And because you smiled yesterday
I thought you thought
That I should give him a chance;
I finally thought you wanted me to give him a chance...

So I kissed him
I kissed him underneath that now-important tree
And I had wanted to pull closer to him, 'till I tasted his soul
But I instead pulled away...

I looked back at you
And saw how infuriated you were.
I looked back at you,
And saw you walking away...

You left me again
In heartache and tears
Feeling so cold and so empty
And I just wished that for once you'd take me with you.

I wish you'd stop leaving
Every time my mind shows me something I like
The image gets torn apart
My heart gets torn apart.

I can't sleep at night anymore.
I always sit there
And stare at my window,
Wish you'd crawl through it like you used to.

I want you to lie here with me
Play with my hair
Whisper secrets in my ear
Run your lips up my neck...

But you're gone.
You're fucking gone
And you're not coming back to me.
You're not coming back to me...

Tell me,
Do you think I like living?
Do you think I enjoy knowing you're dead?
And that I'm alive?

I'm mad at you.
I am so mad at you.
Just tell me what I did wrong,
So I can do whatever you want to make you happy.

That's all that matters.
That's all that every mattered.
That's the only thing I think matters...
You.

Please...
Let me see you happy.
Let me kiss him.
Let me tell him I love him.

You know I love you.
You've been my universe
Since I can remember.
You know I love you.

He'll never replace you.
He can't replace you.
I won't let him replace you.
I just don't want to be alone again...