Paranoia

All my fears push to the front of my mind
The thoughts of losing everyone I have grown close to
Everyone I shared so many things with
The ones I grown so close to

I'm afraid of losing them.
Afraid they will push me away
Reject me and tease me
My paranoia just wont go away

My conversations are strained
I'm holding myself back
I don't want to say anything that will make everyone go away
so I sit tight lipped and say barely anything

They are the reason I get online
They are the ones that have helped me through breakdowns
They calmed all my fears; once long ago
My paranoia just wont go away

They try and soothe me
They tell me they wont leave me
But the voices in my head tell me different
They tell me I'm nothing and they aren't my real friends

I know I sound crazy and It may seem like I am
But my friend are my everything
My life
My joy
My happiness
The light in my life
And my paranoia just wont go away

Make it go away,
take the fear away and the pain
I'm feeling so vulnerable
I know I'm pushing them away but I don't know how to stop it.
I just want this paranoia to go away, just go away