Heartless

let me be heartless
just for right now
when i'm better
i'll smile again
until then
give me a break
casue there is only so little
that i can take

no matter what
we all now know i am strong
or at least i was
but now i'm not
maybe i am
and am trying to call it quits
if i am
please take the hint

the knots in my through are like a lynch
i am being hung by my own wits
the fact that i know you are in pain too
the fact that i know i gave it to you
the fact that i still feel you tugging on me
trying to keep me captive
so that i wont leave

i hear your breath hitch
and it sets me off
i was being the bigger person
but it was just hot air
better yet
a pokerface
strength was never really there

i gave in to the mutual feeling
a forced betrayal by fate
i cried in front of you
to call me weak then
was too late

only a weak willed naive girl would assume that
she was stronger than a lit match
knowing her first mistake was playing with fire
pure heat at is strongest
size doesn't matter to pain
once it hurts
you feel it
for all it always was
wether or not you acknowledged the truth

the fire you play with is you
smiles and laughter make it kindle
hugs and chases make it sizzle
kisses and words make it spark
Love is like coal
dark
so take a box
and put in my heart
send it back to the sender
i don't want it right now
but the owner
they will know how
to use it
to abuse it
to make it obey
or at least teach it how to play

let it speak
knowing that its words will reach
outwards to the future victims
no way to feel the bumps
the blisters pop
puss spews out
and nothing more gross fascinates you
disgust as been desensitized to you
so has violence
casue you kill everybody with every moment and breath
casue every action is a fight to the death

so make me heartless
just for the moment
survival is what i'm after
ever since the end of my laughter