Worthless

You say you love me
Between ragged excited breaths
Eyes closed, hands moving
Up and down
Over my body.
With every stroke,
You reduce me
To even less
Than I already was.
I was unique.
I was a person.
But now a thing,
Made only to belong to you,
Please you.
No matter what you say,
I know this is not love,
This silent, physical exchange.
We should at least
Open our eyes.

You are only wanting me.
And you overlook so much,
Choosing to forget
My immaturity,
My reluctance,
And my scars.
Again you close your eyes
And breathe heavily
Loudly, sporadically.
All you can do is want.
You want me
Around you
On you
Enveloping you.
Something tells me
To want it to,
But I hold back.
Scars are not meant to smile.
Your hands reduce me further
To a scared, confused child.

I submit
Half wanting to,
But still afraid
Of unwritten rules
Of going too far,
And making mistakes.
We both breathe,
Your hands explore,
And I make sounds
For you.
Scared but curious,
We both continue.
I breathe shakily,
My legs around you.
My hands move
And make a liar of me.
I close my eyes
And blow away.