Love

It’s just a four letter word
that I used to think did not exist.
Not in the real world anyway.
People would talk about it all the time.
Say they knew what it was,
and exactly how it’s supposed to feel.
That’s crazy!
People can’t just know something like that!
I’m pretty sure they’re mistaken…
At least, I used to think that.
Before you came along
and turned my life upside-down.
Now I understand what all the love songs
are always going on about.
I know what having butterflies in your stomach feels like.
And suddenly, I know what love is.
It’s more complicated than anyone may think.
It’s not a simple thing, love.
There’s no black and white side,
only a gray muddled mess.
At least, usually.
With you…it’s different.
I knew from the start that I was in love with you.
And I also knew I could never have you.
Bittersweet, isn’t it?
“Love is a many splendored thing,” people always say.
This may be true, for the people who have it easy.
The ones who get everything handed to them.
The lucky ones.
The “normal” people.
You are normal.
I’m not.
Too bad, huh?
We could have a relationship that isn’t awkward.
That isn’t me wanting it to be something more.
It would be easier wouldn’t it?
I wish I was normal…So badly.
But that isn’t going to happen.
You’ll just have to get used to it I guess.
Because I can’t change.
No matter how much I wish I could.