To Be A Girl...

How could you?
Here I am, sitting
Barely alive
I can’t breathe
I can hardly think
You did it again, you selfish bastard.
My heart’s already torn to ribbons,
How could you say you’d love me like that?
You’ve already done this before.
How could I fall for it again?
Do you enjoy watching me writhe in pain?
Does me in a fetal position bring you comfort?
Answer me!!!
You little creep!!
You psycho!
You bastard!
Why would you do that to me?
Do you just not care?
I don’t get you…
I give you my all
I hand you [[what’s left]] of my heart.
And you just burn it?
Throw it away?
Why?
I’m coming undone…
I’m at my wit’s end.
I’m going crazy.
I keep over-analyzing.
I can’t stand this anymore.
I’m tired and hurt.
And I just want it all to stop…
But I can’t help to make it keep going.
I won’t even let myself have a break…
Not that you care.
I don’t think you even know.
Are you even aware that I cry over you every night?
That I think of you every minute of the day?
Why, I don’t know.
Because you obviously don’t do the same.
If you do, then you can hide it better than me.
Or am I the one hiding it?
Pig.
Liar.
Apathetic bastard.
Why do you not pay attention?
Why don’t you get it?
Why do you forget?
Have I not said it clearly enough?
Are my signals too vague for you or something?
How long is it going to take you?
Waiting is frustrating.
Do you not understand?
I do care for you.
Or else I wouldn’t spend countless hours worried about you.
God knows why.
You don’t even know.
But it’s not like I’m going to tell you…
Because the only time I would get to is when I’m with you.
And why ruin that time?
With what it’s like…
To be a girl.