I'm Just Not Worth It.

The wound is inside
the pain I take out
I make wounds on the outside
to know what life is about.

I put the blade into my arm
the time of day
makes up self-harm
the deeper I go
the more blood trickles out
Like a lonely river
alone and left out

I look at the mess
of a life I have made
the thing that really pains me
is the breaths that I take

I take so much
and give so little
but still I don't know!
I'm stuck in the middle.

I cannot decide
if I could, or should
who would miss me?
I wish you would.

I think it more
once everyday
I wish for a cure
the pain won't go away

And yet I know
my time won't slow
I'll sit out
the rest of the show

To end my life here
wouldn't be so bad
I just hope you
would understand and not be mad

if you were me
you would see
how much those actions
affect me

it's harder to
understand
because where you're sitting
it's 100% different

I swallow these pills
I slit my wrist
one last time
I can't help but reminisce.