My heart has a use, it isn't for safe keeping, now i know why the other girls left, it isn't just a fad. (vent poem 2)

I thought I liked
the way you were
and how you made me
feel so great
inside like a
firework just waiting
to be set off just like the
4th of july
but then a sudden
change of heart
made me realize things
were truly inside
and different than
before and it made me
realize that I never really
fell for you indeed I never
actually felt a deep feeling
for you in such ways and do
I regret leading you on which
I technically did not although you
claim I did so? Not at all, because
it is merely a lie and I respect your
hurt, but I have to do what is
right for me, and if that means
abandoning the one person who
actually gives a damn, then
that's what it means. and even though
you seem to be angry in such
ways that I cannot understand because
I am feeling relatively ok and a bit
alone but what does it matter anyways
nothing ever matters so why should
it ever to anyone else? and everyone is
so proud I have let go of the
one thing that was
''weighing me down'' although I
don't really remember being ''weighed
down'' I smile and go on and then you
decided to tell everyone I was those
nasty names you said, and do I give
a fuck? of course, but I'm
not going to tell you that, rather have you
suffer thinking I don't give
a fuck, rather than feeding you
satisfaction from your stupid
asshole-ish deed.
if only you really
reacted and saw through my
eyes how i even really felt and such
pain, that you never could see
even when I gave you my heart
to hold but yes yesterday
i ripped it out of your
greasy little hands and took
it back my heart is not
for any use except for that
of loving and since i found that
you had no intention of such
feelings i decided not to
waste too much of
my time in this
treacherous horrid world
with you holding my heart in which
you would just keep it
in your pocket with no use to
it.
not only was it not worth it, it was indeed
one of the things I regret doing so
harshly but I believe you deserve
to see what you put the other
girls through i mean there is
many reasons why they have let you go
but i suppose this may be one of them
as in showing no interest
and acting so innocent
when really you just want the justice
of saying to others
that some girl finally pleaded guilty
to actually liking you a bit
and pleading to have a boyfriend
and yet you seemed to fill the
request and leave it open
once more because you have not
made a girl feel wanted
therefore she has left you
in your trench but you just
climb right back out and continue
on like she never existed
and I can imagine
that is what you will
do this time like always.