Promise regreted

I wish I was dead,
I regret all I said,
It’s hard to stand tall,
When you feel so small,
I can’t believe it’ll be alright,
When all I do is cry at night,
I’m trying to be strong,
But I’m unsure how long,
It will take before I lose my mind,
Cause everything in sight is there to remind,
Of all the things I felt,
And how I dealt,
With everything in my life,
So now I hold this knife,
Trying to keep my promise,
Through all this mess,
So I’m sorry and I regret,
That the knife and my wrist met.