What I fear the most

What I fear the most
What a question
If I knew, couldn’t I abolish it?
A cracked mirror is nine years bad luck.
And the fear lives on, a saltshaker spilled.
Black cats cross paths and the sky blackens
I shiver.
A spider on my ceiling and we both freeze
Waiting for one to make the first move
Immobilized in our hatred.
When it’s dark I sing to myself
Afraid of the song ending, I don’t stop
Silence and night, an intolerable couple.

The answer is no, the fear lives on
Cracks on the sidewalk
I leap over them, but sometimes miss
Masks are like satirized mirrors
Comic reflections of you, they smile
And empty sockets glint like eyes
Death, not cemeteries or skeletons
But closets full of clothes and no one to wear them
Embalming fluid does not resurrect, and I shiver
Again.

But what I fear most?
It’s everywhere, you see it
Walking down a sunny street with clean shoes
A sharp haircut
Teeth like a wolf’s,
(perfect in their purpose,)
and eyes that shine.
It doesn’t growl or live under your bed
It passes, I look at the floor
It is my life and one day I will die for it, for you
Don’t smile at me, all pity and self-assurance

How are you? And your family? I’m glad
While the blood in my veins thickens, stops
Remind myself to breathe
tear myself down again
But that’s your job, I forget
I shiver when you look at me,
Tie myself in knots over a smile.
No one has that power,
That careless control
You keep my up at night,
In a cold sweat--- you could kill me
And I would let you, so I fear
I fear you, all of you
The most