Novocain

Novocain

Sometimes I wish I could pump Novocain into my brain
To make all my thoughts just fade away
To numb my mind
To ease my soul
Before I start to lose control
Of all the emotions, kept deep within
Whenever I show them, you always grin
You laugh at my pain
You kick me when I’m down
When I hit the ground
You make me black out
One punch then another
Your words feel like cuts
Deep into the flesh
Never to heal up
I wish I hated you
But I know I never could
I wish I didn’t love you
But that is impossible
Because you’re my sister
But you’ve always hated me
I don’t understand why you want to cause pain to me
I’ll never know why
Still the knife deep inside
Cuts further and further
With every bruise that I hide
Every wound I conceal
You’ll never know how it feels
To love someone
Then have them shove it in your face
It hurts so badly
I only wanted you to care
Instead I am left in despair
Because love was never there
It never meant anything to you
So outside I hate you
But on the inside I swear, love is still there