what am I?

I will always be known as cutter.
Because everyone has seen it.
I meet new people and I see their eyes move away and glue to my arms, and they stare at my digusting, monstrous scars in disgust..they look away or look me in the eyes, to indicate to me they know.
Everyone else has seen them when they were new.
I wore short-sleeves..and no one did a thing.
I could see the teachers look straight at my arms, and they would continue whatever they were doing without a word.
No one ever reported me.
I never got help.
I've hurt myself for three years now..
I've been addicted to drugs.
I have been active with sexual behavior,
and I have been in love.
I am just a failure.
I can't help anyone, I can't help a situation.
I try so hard to make a difference,
but every time the person leaves me alone.
I sit in frustration, I keep on complaining, I miss my life, I cry.
I think into suicide, I think of reasons why I try, reasons why people die.
And I get sick.